The Dreaming Stone

This is, in general, a simple story with complex characters. So…

Kilwydd Wledig marries Goleuddydd and gets her pregnant. And this is exactly what we need in order to get if not King Arthur, then at least his cousin Culhwch. Further, the plan runs as follows: we need to wait until he grows up. But let’s not wait, let’s imagine he has already grown up.

Then, logically, we need a woman, however not a simple woman but a special one, like Olwen, the daughter of the king of giants, Ysbaddaden. And here - following habit (and if that’s not enough, then authority) - we must say that love is something special, so you must first grow a beard and then shave it. And this leaves us with not one but two trials! Because for things to go smoothly, the beard must first be softened. Today shaving is the easiest thing on Earth, however in the past, first you had to moisten your beard (options here varied), and then you had to kill a wild boar! Or vice versa. The only difference is that in one case the groom wets himself, and in the other – the wild boar. Anyway, you understand how the moistening goes.

Why kill a wild boar? Come on! What is the hero going to shave his beard with? Tusks, of course! So Culhwch decides to kill a wild boar in order to get married. However, in ancient times wild boars were enchanted kings. Things were simpler then: if the king failed or did not behave – boom, and he was turned into a pig, or rather a wild boar! Nowadays, it’s the opposite – kings are pigs from the very beginning. And in the past pigs were failed kings.

So, in general, now everything is clear: today the failed ones are pigs and they cannot be turned back into people. And in the past the failed ones were turned into pigs but they could be disenchanted. However, you had to have a special woman and a beard. So, our tale is about the pig that Culhwch killed – he was king Twrch Trwyth, an Irish king. As a result they both wet themselves - the king and Culhwch; yet before catching the king, Culhwch hired a dog, named Drudwyn, trained by none other than Mabon himself!

Who was Mabon? I don’t know but the name sounds mesmerizing. And obviously what is important for a dog is not who trains it, but rather if he is renouned. Caregivers! Well… Yet this is not enough! We have Mabon, we have Drudwyn, but how is our hero going to kill the boar? Everyone knows that the pig will behave like a pig if you don’t know how to kill it! So this is why we have the giant sword Wrnach. This is not like going to the hairdresser’s, you know.

And the sword? It’s either stuck in a stone and the only one who can pull it out is King Arthur, or it is guarded by a large army - which means war . Just think, after all this, whether you want to get married or not, moreover to the daughter of a giant! You can find everything and even negotiate with King Arthur, and then bang - here comes the second shift. What am I trying to say here? That there must always be a ritual, although not all rituals end with a happy ending.

So you need to go and ask, for example, Conwy Afanc – the giant monster. And what if he is in a bad mood? For he does not use any dummy weapons, they’re all real. Naturally, Afanc is not indifferent to maidens, however the whole thing turns into a real plot! This is why if you succeed, you hold a great feast! However, first you need to find a real masculine maiden, and not the typical one with seven combs and two flowers in her hair. So the result is a red dragon on the Welsh flag! And you remember how innocently it all started?

And now I feel like shouting: ‘Y Ddraig Goch Ddyry Cychwyn!’ I should have told you the legend of St. David for the result there would have been a daffodil. Which is also a symbol of Wales but smells better

Thus the love of Celts for flowers and visions or dream-visions is their login data. The Isle of Man, you will say. Man will lead us to feasts and festivities and we’ll feel like cursing even more. So how should we adjust all this, you will say. For not a dreaming stone but even a cobblestone will not help us then! In general, those who read all this and understood nothing have two options: reread or admit their incompetence.


20 march 2014

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